I wrote the below
post on April 25, 2009. Today is May 12, 2012, the day before Mother’s Day. And
I am, once again, sitting in the emergency room of our local hospital. It is
almost unreal how much my mother’s health has failed in the last three years,
how quickly it has failed in the last six months. She can no longer walk with a cane or
walker. She is in a wheelchair all the time. Different systems in her body have begun to
fail. It is very difficult to watch. But
still, she is here and God willing, will celebrate Mother’s Day – perhaps at
home or perhaps in a hospital room. But she will be here and for that, I am
extremely grateful.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms who are reading this. And if your mom is still living, enjoy spending time with her today!
This is not how I want to see or remember my mother. I want to remember her the way she was when I
was a child, a teenager and a young married woman with a child of my own.
When I was a child my mother was constantly busy. Even though she worked full time, she would
come home every day and cook “supper” as we called it then –meat, vegetables,
bread and tea. My sister and I always
had clean and ironed clothes to wear to school.
On Saturdays, my mother would get up very early, and by the time I was
up, she would have made-from-scratch cake layers cooling on racks, waiting for
the sweet, sugary icing to be spread on top of each layer and all around the
sides. Then later in the morning, she
would leave for her weekly appointment at the “beauty shop.” (In those days, we had not heard of hair
salons.) Sundays found her teaching an elementary Sunday school class and
singing in the choir.
My mother taught me to respect my elders. I still say “Yes, m ‘am and No, sir.” She
taught me how to act in church and showed me what would happen if I didn’t
behave!
During the summer months, my mother would come home from
work and stand on her feet for hours blanching and then freezing beans, peas,
corn, and squash so that we could have fresh vegetables in the winter.
My mother continued to be active in my teenage years;
however the degenerative disc disease had begun to slowly ravage her
spine. Over the years, she lost several
inches in height. But this did not slow
her down – at least not then. She and my
dad attended every chorus concert, every play that I was in, everything I did,
they were there.
I became engaged my sophomore year of college and as I planned
my wedding, my mother was there to help and advise me. I still remember her teary eyes as I dressed
to leave the church for my honeymoon.
When my first child was born, my mother and father were at
the hospital almost before I arrived! I
can see, even now, my mother holding my daughter, Kim, in her arms. When I came home from the hospital, my mother
stayed with us for a week, taking care of all the household chores so that I
could bond with Kim and learn how to be a mother. (Why don’t babies come with
an instruction manual??) My mother also
stayed for a week when my son, Kyle, was born, again taking care of everything.
Shortly after Kyle’s birth, my father became gravely ill and
was hospitalized for several weeks, having two surgeries during that time. My mother was an absolute rock. She stayed, day and night, with my dad until
he came home. Once home, she waited on
him hand and foot and watched over him vigilantly until he regained his
strength and health.
When my daughter became pregnant at 16, my mother (and
father) became a rock of support. They
surrounded my daughter with love and prayers.
When Kim went into labor, they made a mad dash to the hospital to be
there when their first great grandchild was born. I have a photograph of mother holding my
grandson. The love in her face was as
intense and as deep as the love had been when she held her grandchildren and
children.
Although my mother and I have not always seen “eye-to-eye”
on some issues, and there have been times when she has driven me crazy (what
mother doesn’t drive her daughter crazy sometimes?), she has always loved me,
always supported me and always been there for me.
I don’t want to see her growing frailer with each passing
day. But this is life. The least I can do is to be here for
her. Sitting in the waiting room of the
ER. Waiting.
2 comments:
Dear Edwina,
I pray that you will continue to lean on God's strength and mercy as you care for your mom. I know this is not an easy task- I face a very similar situation. You will both be in my prayers. I hope to see you soon while we are in Georgia.
Hi Rebekah,
Thank you for your comments and your prayers. Both are greatly appreciated!
I do hope to see you while you are in GA!
Edwina
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