For at least the last two weeks, I’ve been unable to write. I have lost count of how many times I have sat down at the computer, determined to write, and there is nothing. No thoughts, no musings, no inspiration. A Big Fat Nothing! And it is not just my three-times-a-week-blogs that I am unable to write, but I haven't written one word on my current work in progress.
What is causing my little gray cells to rebel against writing? Too many things are going on in my life and family’s life and that is at least, part of the problem. I can’t concentrate because my mind is flying in a million different directions seeking a solution to situations about which I can do nothing. Why do I worry like that? Is that type of worry hereditary? My mom worries the same way. She worries over every tiny thing. I have often said half-jokingly that my mom worries when there is nothing to worry about because there is nothing to worry about. It’s like she is in a constant state of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Another contributing factor is that I don’t sleep well. When I sit down at the computer, especially on a hot summer day like today, I get very sleepy. I either succumb to the lure of sleep or I have to stand and walk around for a few minutes until I can sit again, only to fall asleep — again.
I also wonder if I truly did hear God speak last year when He said I was to write. I believe so, but there were times during these two weeks when I was so completely unable to put any words on paper, I thought I dreamed hearing God’s voice on this topic.
Too many distractions can certainly cause me to lose the muse! When I write, I am at my computer. I have three email accounts and FaceBook. Need I say more? Discipline will now be the order every time I sit at my computer.
I have determined today to write. If I have to type the words “blah, blah, blah” until the page is full, I will do so. But I will not have to do that. After all, I’ve just written almost a full page. To you, it probably seems meaningless and a waste of time to read it. To yours truly, after a two-week period of nothingness, it’s a beautiful thing.