Saturday, August 13, 2011

RECKLESS REBELLION


For those of you who don’t know, my husband had surgery this week after nine months of illness. Dave came home one Friday evening in late October from a business trip and told me he felt like he was getting sick. Sure enough, before the weekend was over, he was very sick and diagnosed with pneumonia. From October to March, Dave had pneumonia four times. When he got sick again in March, I insisted he see a different doctor. By the end of that day, he had seen a new family physician, who ordered a CAT scan and upon reading the results, immediately sent Dave to a pulmonologist. He reviewed the CAT scan and told us that the lower lobe of Dave’s right lung was completely dead due to the pneumonias and would have to be removed. That began the wild ride from March until this week. Dave has seen three pulmonologists, three thoracic surgeons and one infectious disease specialist. He has had four bronchoscopies, three CAT scans, countless numbers of blood tests, and on and on and on. We were told it was cancer. We were told it wasn’t cancer. We were told “I don’t know what it is” many times. This week, we found out it was an almond. Yes, you read that right – almond. Apparently, sometime last October, Dave was snacking on almonds when he choked on one. That little sucker went all the way down his windpipe into the lower lobe of his right lung and lodged itself in a place where it partially covered the windpipe. Who woulda thunk it?
So, there’s the background. Go back to the day when the pulmonologist told us the lobe was dead and would have to be removed. I can remember sitting across from the doctor and hearing him say those words “Your lobe will have to be removed,” and I said to God, “OK, God. That’s it. I’m done. I’m tired of praying for healing and seeing nothing happen. So I’m done. I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t seem to do any good to pray for healing, so why should I?” (Dave has had back and hip problems for years, has been prayed for, anointed with oil, prayed for time and again and has not been healed.)

In I Samuel 15, Samuel gives Saul instructions from God to kill all the Amalekites. All. Don’t. Leave.  A. Single. Breathing. Thing. But Saul thought he knew better than God, so he saved the King of the Amalekites and the best of the animals for God. But that’s not what God wanted.

9 But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves[b] and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

When the Lord told Samuel what Saul had done, Samuel went and confronted Saul.

19 Why did you not obey the LORD? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD?”

20 “But I did obey the LORD,” Saul said. “I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal.”

22 But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.

Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king.” 24 Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the LORD’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them. 25 Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the LORD.”

26 But Samuel said to him, “I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you as king over Israel!” (I Samuel 15:9; 19-26; emphasis mine)

Reckless rebellion? You bet.
Arrogant? Yep.

Ego? Bigger than the Grand Canyon.
Pride? Full of it.

Who was he to think that he knew better than God?

Who am I to think I know better than God?

Reckless rebellion? You bet.
Arrogant? Yep.

Ego? Bigger than the Grand Canyon.
Pride? Full of it!

How arrogant am I to think that I could manipulate God into changing His plans for my sweet hubby just because I was acting like a two-year old screaming in the store because Daddy won’t buy her that dolly she absolutely must have!

Let me go ahead and save some of you the experience: We cannot manipulate God. We cannot bribe God. We cannot coerce God. We can’t change His mind by throwing a temper tantrum. And we certainly can’t move Him with our lack of Bible reading or ignoring our quiet time with Him or not praying. This is the voice of experience speaking.

If you are still reading this long saga, you’re probably wondering if I resolved my issues (and if this blog is ever going to end). Yes, I did (and it will). In the far recesses of my mind I knew, all along, that I would have to repent and ask God to forgive me for being angry with him and for rebelling against him and his will. Here is the Good News:
 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9

AND
“You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19


God’s love for us is so great and His grace is so amazing, that He forgives our sins and buries them in the depths of the sea and He does not remember the sin – ever again.

Whatever the sin that separates you from God, He is waiting, willing and faithful to forgive you of that sin. His compassion will draw you to Him, His forgiveness will restore your relationship and His love will make you whole again.

So, what are you waiting for?                                                              

4 comments:

Sand said...

Terrific, Edwina. So glad for you and Dave!

Sandy Ardoin said...

LOL! I have a prank-playing gremlin in my computer. He didn't let me finish my name. :-)

Joy McGee said...

Loved it!

Edwina said...

Thanks,Sandi & Joy!